last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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