Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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