fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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