I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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