My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
