It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
where are my eyebrows?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
