I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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