spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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