He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
