your room smells of hookers.
And success
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
