If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
