Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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