For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize