You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
