i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
