Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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