Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
