Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry imnotkidding hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.

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(831): View more from California

she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.

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(408): View more from California

4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.

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(801): View more from Utah

I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point

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(310): View more from California

I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.

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