y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
