my sisters under your porch take her home
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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