Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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