I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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