Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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