but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize