i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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