get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The air taste purple.
Randomize