The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
