The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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