I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
