in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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