i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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