I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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