I want to have your abortion
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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