rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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