i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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