some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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