When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
