the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My dick has a subreddit
last night I used snow as a chaser
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