i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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