i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
