Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
