he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
false alarm. still invincible.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
