I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
