call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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