I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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