Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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