just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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