Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
