I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
