We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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