Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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