I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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