You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
