Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize