Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
