I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
