No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
