So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
