At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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